


It's A Tough Job But Someone Has To Do It!

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ficlet, Het, Humor, Implied Incest, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154





	It's A Tough Job But Someone Has To Do It!

**Title:** It's A Tough Job But Someone Has To Do It!  
 **Pairing(s)/Characters:** Most canon Weasley pairings, plus Draco and Gabrielle  
 **Challenge:** Cupid, Arthur Weasley  
 **Summary:** Who said playing Cupid was easy?  
 **Rating/Warnings:** R  
 **Word count:** 750  
 **Author's Notes (if any):** Hopefully this is at least half as funny without the wacky typos. Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/firewhiskeyfic/profile)[**firewhiskeyfic**](http://community.livejournal.com/firewhiskeyfic/) the original version is [here](http://firewhiskeyfic.livejournal.com/68187.html).

Cupid took another sip of his drink. He hated family get-togethers because everyone was related! How was he supposed to make a love match between fathers and their daughters. Or siblings.

Well, he used to do that, back in the Dark Ages. Anyway, no matter. He'd find someone to match at this...

He looked at the scroll in his pocket.

"Weasley Wedding"

Right. Weasleys. He'd matched loads of them in his time. Were like rabbits. Except they had ginger hair.

Everywhere.

Cupid shuddered. Throwing back the last of his whisky, Cupid narrowed his eyes and started searching for likely candidates.

The Veela was taken, he remembered her. Often as a matter of fact. Late at night, hand on his....

DAMMIT! He always forgot he wasn't anatomically correct. Well, he would have jacked off thinking of her if he'd had a dick.

Then there was the twin, who was missing a twin as well as an ear. That had been a tough match. Really, the brothers would have been a better match for each other. Still, the woman he found was a good mate.

Then there was the one with the burns and scars. He seemed to deflect every arrow cupid shot at him. Cupid gave up after a while; the cost of arrows was ridiculous these days. Let him sleep with half the world, see if Cupid cared. Honestly.

The bookish one was in love with his work or his boss or something. Cupid wasn't sure what went wrong with him. It was as if he'd told him to love the position rather than the person. Merlin protect whomever was Minister of Magic for they would always have the undying devotion of Percy Weasley.

He had managed to get it right with the youngest boy though sometimes he almost felt bad for the girl he was with. She seemed a neat and tidy sort and he was anything but neat and tidy. But this was their wedding and she'd shown up and everything. Cupid patted himself on the back for a job well done.

The girl. The girl was tricky. He'd been reluctant to shoot the object of her affection. But there was that strange time when that one had been in the "in between" and Cupid had heard through the grapevine this girl was the best match out of some pretty poor options. But the powers that be approved it, so he went through with it.

God, he could use a cigarette right about now. Wasn't there anyone here but red-heads with freckles?

He saw the patriarch of the family, remembered those many, many moons ago when he'd matched him with his wife. They were already having sex, even though people liked to pretend that's a modern invention. Cupid knew better. Premarital sex had been around since always.

He'd taken her out into the orchard and pressed her back to a peach tree, the fragrance sweet. Not than cupid knew from peaches exactly, but she'd said so. The man had bared her breasts, compared them to the luscious fruits and devoured them as if they were.

Cupid was getting...not hard, for fuck's sake. He had no dick. But as aroused as he could be. He'd be rubbing against the pearly gates later (and you wondered why they called them that!).

Then the man had lifted her robes and put his face to her ginger hair, licking and sucking until she trembled and lay down on the ground, spreading her thighs. The man freed his cock, long and thin, pushing into her again, his arse bare to the sun.

"Oh, Arthur!" she'd cried out pulling him into a kiss and Cupid saw his moment. That bare arse was too tempting. He lined up his arrow and shot!

"Ow!" Arthur cried out and reached for his backside. "I think I was stung by a bee, Molly!"

"Well, don't stop now, Arthur," she said, and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Cupid watched as the change happened. It was a beautiful thing. Arthur looked down at her, ran a hand through her hair, pressed his lips to hers and said, "I love you, Molly Prewett."

Wiping his eyes, Cupid realized he'd had a few too many and was getting sentimental.

Right, time to do some damage. There was a blond man lingering by the door. Cupid followed his eyes and found he was watching the other French girl, the Veela's sister.

Good enough.

He lined up his arrow and shot!

Oops.


End file.
